The Skyrim Speedway: Part 6

Looking for other Skyrim Speedway posts? Part One has links to them all!

On this installment of zipping through a large videogame, His Majesty High King Orc Orcersson of Skyrim, Harbinger of the Companions and Dragonborn continues to advance solutions to local geopolitical situations with grace, tact and a mace.

We left off shortly after reclaiming the Jagged Crown from Stormcloak hands. Unfortunately, in order to complete this quest and keep going with the Civil War storyline, we need to hand it over to Imperial authorities. That means Orc is no longer able to wear the Crown and consequently has to retire from his position as High King. It’s a sad occasion, but vaguely understood rules are rules.

With the demotion over with, it’s time to win a war! Whiterun- in the middle of Skyrim – has so far stayed neutral, so Orc is sent to convince them to join the right side. The Jarl of Whiterun does this by sending a meaningful axe to Ulfric Stormcloak (leader of the Stormcloaks) in Windhelm (where he is also Jarl of Windhelm). Obviously, Orc is trusted to deliver this vital and sensitive message, presumably because he was standing the closest.

As an agent of the Imperial side, wandering into the stronghold of the rebels is of course no issue whatsoever! Less than a minute after arriving in the city and challenged by exactly no-one, a heavily armed and armoured Orc has sprinted up to Imperial Enemy No. 1. Smacking him in the face then and there with a mace sadly isn’t an option, so we deliver our axe-based message and get told to prepare for an assault on Whiterun, which is awfully sporting of him. Before heading back to deliver THAT message, Orc sits on Ulfric’s throne to remind everyone of the time he was High King instead of messenger boy.


Ulfric watches from 2m away, but has no complaints about this chair appropriation. Anyway, back to Whiterun. No sooner has Orc delivered the message that the Stormcloaks are about to attack than they actually do attack. They move their army around really fast.


Any siege weapons you might see are just for show as after killing a few dozen Stormcloaks in small 4-5 person melees, they give up fighting. The survivors then just stand around as a group before calmly walking off, stopping only to exclaim “Oh! A body…” every other step.


Not the sharpest lot, those Stormcloaks. Congratulated on his pivotal role in a decisive battle, Orc is sent to liberate the far north. There’s a minor delay getting the orders for how this will happen as a dragon decides to attack the camp.


This attack lasts about as long as it takes to take the screenshot, before the dragon changed its mind and flew off to chase a deer. Anyway, we’re tasked with finding a Stormcloak courier. This involves being verbally aggressive to an innkeeper to find him, which coincidently is the final interaction needed for the “Bribe, Intimidate and Persuade people” achievement! Woo!

Also, the courier is killed by cultists before we can get near him.


Couriers have it rough; Orc knows this firsthand because it’s basically all he’s been doing this session, and it’s not over yet! With the secret Stormcloak communications in hand we hand them over to the Imperial camp commander, who strategically alters them. She then tasks Orc with delivering them to the Stormcloak commander for the region.

That interaction goes like this, almost verbatim:

Orc: “Here are the documents”

Stormcloak Commander: “Wait, I don’t recognize you. Are you even a Stormcloak?”

Orc:”Yes, I’m in disguise.”

Stormcloak Commander: “Oh, ok then!”

Then the Empire (mostly Orc) killed everyone in their now exposed fort and took the north back. Frankly, the Stormcloaks deserved it for that.



Time Elapsed: 5hr 00m

Achievement Progress: 19/75

Next time: More dragons, less couriering?


One thought on “The Skyrim Speedway: Part 6

  1. Pingback: The Skyrim Speedway: Part 1 – Memoirs Of A Crime Bird

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